America, The Insider's Guide
The Sun Herald
Saturday April 23, 1994
I won't waste a lot of space telling you how great it is in the States. Some things here are the best in the world (gourmet pizzas and the Grand Canyon, to name two). Other things may seem a little weird to the newly-arrived, so here are some tips and translations.
DINERS
My first night in Boston I got off the place jet-lagged and was taken to an all-night diner. I ordered a drink that was way too big, I didn't know the coinage, and the sandwich stank.
The lessons: 1) Here we have all-night diners, often serving spotty food.
2) The food can be expensive but the soft drinks are cheap and BIG.
3) One cent = one penny
5 cents = a nickel
10 cents = a dime
25 cents = a quarter and a buck is a buck (and worth about $1.40 Australian). Furthermore, all the paper money from a dollar up is the same size, same colour but with different presidents. Go figure |
FOOD
Size-wise, most sandwiches (otherwise known as subs, heros, hoagies or grinders) are fairly large. The garnishes are crappy. (Who eats the one piece of lettuce and tomato? Are they recycled?)
Some restaurants try to sell you "mix and match", which means if you only order a main course they charge you extra for vegetables or salad.
Oh, and let's get things clear: over here an "entree" is a main course. First courses are "appetisers".
Remember there'll be Meal Tax on top of your menu prices: 6 per cent in most states.
If you haven't met "Ranch" salad dressing you haven't been over here for quite a while. No-one knows what's in it. But Ranch pizza topping is new. And we're experiencing a nationwide craze for "Rotisserie-style chicken."
A last note on eating: avoid large road-side chains such as Shoneys, Denny's and Bickfords, and never eat in the hotel restaurants. The breakfasts can run $12 to $15 easily.
DRINKS
sodas, tonics and pop are served in a 16oz Small to a 32oz Big to the 64oz(1.8 litre) Big Gulp.
The closest equivalent to an Oz-style Smoothie is a frappe, milk shake or fribble. McDonalds sells Shakes (notice, no "Milk"), while Burger King sells Milk Shakes (with milk).
When it comes to real drinks, there's a lot of ice in America. Your cocktail will be at least 50% chipped ice.
COFFEE
This is important. A "cup of joe" or "java" is black coffee. You have to specify "Decaf", or "Regular" for coffee with milk or cream . (But a New York"regular" has one sugar). Then you have the "internationals": espresso, cappuccino and cafe latte.
Intimate cafe-style "coffee houses" are the big thing now. And on the west coast there are now drive-through gourmet coffee shops.
HOTELS
When you're booking a hotel make sure it doesn't have "Inn" after its name: the big chains each have motel groups as well, with dinky little rooms.
"Continental" rates don't include food. "Modified American Plan" (MAP) does- usually breakfast and dinner. (Maybe this is why Americans abroad look worried when they're offered Continental breakfast |)
On the road, never accept the first rate that hotels offer - they need business. Ask if they honor frequent-flyer programs.
I've even got automatic room upgrades by joining hotel chains' programs. And be wary of places that rent rooms by the hour - the "no-tell motels" |
Yes, there's Room Tax on top of the bill: usually 15%, currently 9.7% here in Massachusetts.
AIRPORTS
Beware of the friendly strangers who want to give you a free copy of their swami's famous book - for a $20 donation, of course.
Always take the airport shuttle. Taxis are expensive. Most major hotels are listed on the "Ground Transportation and Lodging" boards at airports and have direct-dial connections to order the shuttle.
TIPPING
The departure lounge at Los Angeles for flights to Sydney is always full of Aussies swapping Terrible Tipping Stories. Yep - waiting staff in restaurants expect 15-20% tips.
Cab drivers expect 15% or at least a couple of bucks. Porters usually get a dollar per piece of luggage (or you have to pay to hire the luggage trolleys in airports).
Bell boys are always holding their hands out. The swishier hotels don't allow their staff to accept tips and add on a service charge (probably 15%)instead. You'll know about it before anyone makes off with your bags.
DRIVING
We do it on the other side. And watch out for "Right on Red" signs at traffic lights or you'll get a lot of honking. Traffic and seat belt laws vary from state to state, but 65mph is the fastest you can drive anywhere. (That's only 100kph, so slow down |)
When you're being given directions, you may be told to "take the jug handle" on to whatever street. It's a method of turning right in order to turn left. Complicated.
Rental car sizes are hard to figure (Economy, Sub-Compact, Compact, Standard, Luxury, Premium etc etc.). In reality you could park a Suzuki Swift in the trunk of a "Compact" car.
Most car rental companies have weekly discounted rates. Check for free mileage. Beware of the "one-way" surcharge if you want to drop off at a different destination. Plus they usually want you to stay within the state.
The little extras really add up in car rentals - such as insurance. Check if your own auto insurance company, or your credit card company, can cover you- which could save another US$7-12 a day.
Gasoline is all unleaded here, and ranges from about US$1.10 to $1.50 per gallon of Super.
And always remember to refill the tank before returning the car, or they whack you about US$3 per gallon in charges.
If this sounds like a long list of scams, and things to watch out for, it's because you can come and find out all the good stuff for yourself.
No-one says "Have a nice day," any more. It's "Take care", or "Enjoy". So Enjoy |
© 1994 The Sun Herald
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